20 of the best ‘little things’ in life

So I’m not a cynic ALL of the time. I actually do enjoy life 😉 Seeing as I wrote about ‘FML’ moments not so long ago, I thought it only right that I now write about the opposite. Here are a list of little things that have the ability to make your day 🙂

Getting into bed with new sheets

Ahh isn’t this just the greatest. The feeling of the clean crisp sheets against your skin, the smell of freshness and fabric softener. It’s even better if you’ve just shaved your legs. Double win. 😉

Finding money in the pocket of something

I’M RICH! instant happiness. Or that glorious, but rare moment when you find an old birthday card and a beautiful fifty slips right out. You’re wondering how the hell did that one shneak away? But it doesn’t matter. It found it’s way back to you at the most unexpected time. Glorious.

The first sip of a drink when you’re really thirsty

You’re mouth feels like sandpaper, it’s dry it’s uncomfortable, you’re gasping. Then you eventually get your hands on a drink. That cold refreshing feeling is the best. Thirst quenched, happy camper.

Putting your hair in a bun after a long day

Hold mah weave gurl

This one only applies to girls but still. For some it’s taking the bra off and letting the girls loose, for me it’s whipping the weave out and throwing my hair up into the highest and most unflattering knack bun. Instant comfort.

Waking up in the middle of the night and still having hours left to sleep

Ahh there is a God. You wake up praying it’s not time to get up and guess what, you’re in luck. It isn’t. 2:30am YES. Still a solid 5 hours. Roll over, curl up in a ball, back to dreamland.

Lie ins on rainy days

Hearing the rain belt off your window and being all wrapped up and warm under your duvet knowing you don’t have to get up. Need I say more?

Getting 7 chicken nuggets instead of 6

Okay so I’m still waiting for this amazing moment to happen, but I imagine it’s euphoric. If this has ever happened you, I salute you. I’m insanely jealous, but well done. I hope you savoured this rare moment and prayed for the McDonalds employee who was obviously having a great day.

Walking out of work on a Friday

Let the games begin.

When your favourite song comes on the radio

EVERYONE SHUT UP! Dis my jam.. dis my jam.

The smell of baked bread and freshly cut grass

Or nice smells in general. Petrol, Fire Lighters, Aftershave.. need I go on.

Having to wait ages to pee and then the final relief when you do

It literally feels like you might burst, you’ve been holding it for longer than is humanly possible. And then the sweet relief comes in the form of that beautiful porcelain throne. Flushing meadows.

Fluffy socks, actually anything fluffy.

There’s just something about the texture. Instant joy.

When you laugh so hard it becomes silent

Is there anything better than laughing so much that you just sit there shaking and silent tears just pour down your face? No. No there isn’t. Laughing is the best.

Holding a newborn baby

It can be scary as hell because you’re terrifed you might break them. But they’re so tiny and so cute and they’ve literally just come into the world. You can’t not be happy holding a baby it’s cuteness overload.

Feet in warm sand

Sand can be so annoying but the feeling of hot sand beneath your feet is just heaven.

Finding something you’ve lost

Whatever it is, you gave up all hope of finding it long ago. Only then one day you find it out of the blue. Yay! Happy dance.

Long hugs

Everyone loves hugs. Especailly long squeezy hugs.

When it starts raining just after you get indoors

Mwhahah  f*ck you mother nature.

Unexpected texts

Oh hello there.

Opening the book randomly on the right page

This is great. It makes you feel like some sort of god with divine powers, eliminating effort straight away. psychic.

Things people do but will never admit

Right so before we begin lets get one thing straight with a necessary disclaimer,  I am in no way admitting to any of these..;)

If you’re squeamish or consider yourself anyway posh or dignified, look away now. This is just a bit of lighthearted fun and sets out in no way to offend 😉 So don’t get your pantaloons in a twist 😀

There’s no judgement here, we’re all human and we are allowed disgraceful moments of unencumbered shame. 

Sooo here we go:

Peeing in the shower

Ew all ya want, it happens. It’s like a shameful unspoken truth among us all. You’ve definitely done it, even if it was just once out of curiosity and/or laziness. If you say you haven’t I have no choice but to assume that you are A) a liar, and B) a posh man named Winston from somewhere like Coventry who “would never do such a thing”. Embrace the pee.

Note: This rule does not apply to the bath, if you do that you’re just plain dirty.

Sticking chewing gum under the table

Again, everyone has done this at some point. Even if it was when you were just a child and hadn’t yet learned proper table etiquette. Look it happens, and sometimes you have no other option. There’s no bin, there’s no napkin and everyone knows what happens when you swallow gum. The only thing you can do is casually and gracefully stick it under the table and hope it doesn’t fall off. But just don’t do it somewhere nice yeah? There is a line. Mcdonalds? acceptable The Ritz? Scandalous & Disgusting. Choose your opportunity wisely to maintain optimum dignity.

Pretending you have plans to get out of plans, so you can stay home & eat and watch TV

No judgement here. You wanna pass up casual drinks to stay home and devour that giant bar of cadbury’s? You do that. It doesn’t matter that Mary is only in town for one night, you made a date with yourself & chocolate and you’ll be damned if you’re cancelling it. Feel bad about it at 2am when everyone’s langers and you’re in a food coma contemplating life.

Having a nose in other peoples bathrooms

“Ohhh look, they have Andrex toilet paper!”

There’s just something about other people’s bathrooms though isn’t there? They’re like a completely different realm. So different to your own bathroom, where you know where everything is and which products are acceptable to use. Feel free to have a casual creep around while you do your business, but don’t do a Ross on it.

Checking yourself out in reflective surfaces

You’re walking past a car, a building, a mirror, anything shiny. You steal a cheeky glance. It’s okay. You’re not alone. Just don’t get caught staring at yourself in someone’s car while they’re in it… or walk into a lampost or some other inanimate object in the process. Quick, sneaky, and discrete moments of vanity are acceptable.

Making ugly faces at babies

Just.too.tempting. They’re too small to judge you, it’s okay.

Saying the alphabet out loud, because you still don’t automatically know where the letter lands

“abcdefjhijkLMNOpqrstuvwxyz..” 

“Of course I know that I comes after H…”

Similarly using your fingers to count

Running up the stairs really fast to get away from monsters/murderers 

Everyone does it, and everyone knows you’re safe at the top.

Pretending to text when you’re in an awkward situation

Yeah there’s no one texting you. You are literally on your own here. Better whip out the phone and shamelessly pretend to text so you don’t look even more awkward than you already do. Just make sure it’s charged yeah?

Pretending to text while actually snapchatting / taking seflies 

“Are you taking pictures of yourself?”

“Eh no, I’m texting. God..”

re-watching your favourite childhood cartoons and tv shows

Watch me give a F*ck

You’re in your twenties now, you’re long gone past these days. But yet you still find yourself on youtube watching re-runs of your cherished shows. That’s so Raven, Lizzie McGuire, & Sabrina spring to mind? You should be watching sophisticated shows like Law & Order and CSI but sometimes you just need to escape back to simpler times, and that’s okay too.

Stay classy peeps 🙂 ❤

12 of the most devastating fictional character deaths

Get the tissues ready..

Thomas J, aka McCauley Culkin- My girl.

Lets face it, everyone wanted a best friend like Thomas J. He even offered to be Vada’s back-up should her other romantic conquests fail. Thomas J was funny, adorable and totally loyal. His untimely and tragic death saw him attacked by a swarm of bees as he searched the forrest to find Vada’s missing ring. True Friendship. Being allergic to virtually almost everything, poor Thomas J passed away, and it was truly devasating.

Mufasa- The Lion King

I think we can all agree that this was single handedly the most cruel and emotionally traumatic thing Disney ever did. Why Disney, why? Mufasa was strong and brave, Simba loved him, and we loved him. He was the man of pride rock, until his scheming evil older brother Scar pushed him into a stampeed of Zebra’s. The scene where Simba despartely tries to wake his father was too much for our little hearts to handle. Bad call Disney. Never getting over this one.

Wilson – Cast Away

Okay so Wilson wasn’t necessarily a character, hell he wasn’t even a person, he was an inanimate object but his ‘death’ was still emotionally distressing. Imagine being Tom Hanks, alone, cast away from civilization on a desserted island. Your only friend is an old football with a badly drawn on face, and even he gets taken away from you. Personally I think it was Karma from when Tom angrily threw Wilson away, but still not cool. Wilson was a dude and it was a shame he didn’t make it.

Mrs Mcluskey– Desparate Housewvies

Mrs McCluskey was the definiton of a B.A.B. (Boss Ass Bitch). Seriously this woman was hilarious. If she wasn’t helping to cover up murders she was taking the blame for them for her friends. When it looked like the rest of the housewives were going down for the murder of Gabrielle’s Step Father, Mrs McCluskey, being terminally ill, steps up and takes the blame knowing she won’t see the inside of a jail cell. What a lady. She died peacefully with her boyf Roy by her side & you’re lying if you say you didn’t shed a tear. Sadly the Actress who played her, Kathyrn Joosten passed away in real life shortly after. As if it wasn’t sad enoguh.

Dobby-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.

Easily the most heartbreaking of them all. Dobby was only trying to save Harry Potter and his friends. When Beatrix LeStrange’s knife struck Dobby’s heart, it struck all of ours as well. Brutal Stuff JK Rowling, Brutal stuff.

Ellie, (The Old Guy’s wife) – UP

Again with the sad deaths Disney! UP is an all round emotional film anyway, but this one just tugs exceptionally hard on your heart strings. The fact that the old guy flys his house all the way to ‘Paradise Falls’ the place where his wife always wanted to visit is touching. The line in her adventure book “I’ve lived my adventure, now go live yours”  was enough to send anyone into an emotional waterfall.

Allie & Noah – The Notebook.

Too.much.emotion. I can’t even with this one. If you don’t weep at this moment then your heart is evidently made of stone. Their story was beautiful, which made their deaths all the more heart wrenching. A double death at that. But hey, at least they went together. Still never getting over it though.

Dr George O’Malley- Greys Anatomy

Oh George, why did you have to leave us? George was like the slighlty awkward, lovable best friend that everyone just loved to tease. In the end he was hit by a bus in order to save a pregnant woman. Classic George. He made his indenity known to his collegues by tracing his nickname ‘007’ on Meredith’s hand. Tragic.

Jack Daswon- The Titanic

Can’t not include this classic. We should be over this one by now, but we never will be. Tear jerker, every.single.time. He definitely could have fit on that plank of wood though what’s that about? Anyway nothing says romantic like gently freezing to death for your one true love.

Marley the Dog -Marley and Me

Personally I hate this movie, and not just because a dog dies. Like they make us sit through a solid 2hours where virtually NOTHING of interest happens, and then the dog dies. No need. No need at all. Not to mention Owen Wilson’s Chronic acting as a ‘Columnist’.

Brian – Family Guy.

Oh Seth McFarlene you evil genius you. He was back like a couple of weeks later, but still. Brian’s Untimely death shocked us all to the core. It was even more shocking when they wrote him out of the title sequence and replaced him with that weird looking yoke ‘Vinny’. Don’t expect us to forgive you any time soon for that one McFarlene. Too far.

Bruce Willis in Armaggedon

Brucey is a true hero in this one. He literally dies to save the universe, and it’s heartbreaking. Taking the place of his daughters fiancé he sacrifices himself and is launched out into oblivion to stop a meteor or something like that, from crashing into earth. The scene where he says his final goodbyes to his daughter back home who is crying whilst holding on to the screen of his image, as aerosmith plays in the background, is truly soul destroying.

So there you have it friends, a short compilation of what I consider to be some of the saddest character deaths.

15 truly ‘FML’ moments

Ever have ‘one of them days’ where absolutely everything just seems to grate on your nerves? Yeah, we all have them. Everything is going wrong anyway, so it only takes the smallest thing to send you over the edge into a full on rage. It could be something as simple as a leaf innocently blowing the wrong way, or someone breathing too loudly. Admittedly these little things aren’t the end of the world but when you’re in a mood they might as well be. So in true cyncial fashion, I decided to compile a list of what I find to be some of the most ‘FML’ situations.

1. When you wake up 10 minutes before your alarm

This one happened to me this morning. There is nothing worse. Picture the scene, you’re cocooned in your nice warm cosy bed, the duvet is enveloping you and you never want it to let you go. Pure bliss. Only then, you glance at your phone/clock. You’re shitting me. You woke up feeling like you still had hours left to sleep, but yet the time is smirking at you, taunting you with the fact that in a matter of minutes your alarm is going to go off and ruin everything. Cruel.

2. When you go to pour milk on your cereal and there’s only a dribble left.

Seriously WHY would you put the carton back in the fridge if there was only a drop left? WHY? Who ever is responsible for this obviously hates you.

3. Drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth

Death. You’re more angry at yourself for being so stupid for doing this than the actual reprocussions of it. Actually scratch that, the taste is just as anger inducing.

4. Stubbing your toe

Worst. Pain. Ever. It’s worse when you’re with someone when it happens and they’re trying to ask you are you okay. Like no, just leave me to scream hysterically until this horrifc pain goes away, PLEASE.

5. Forgetting a password, resetting it and then instantly remembering it.

This is just annoying. You’ve tried unsuccessfully to enter your password like 20 times. You’re now locked out of your account and awaitng the dreaded ‘Password reset instructions’ email, when suddenly it dawns on you. How could you forget. ‘FluffyCatX0’

6. Thinking of something epic to say after an argument

‘”Yeah well, yer ma!” No seriously though, is there anything more frustrating? Why does this always happen? You leave an argument and then it’s like all of a sudden you’re hit with  devine inspiration of all the things you could have, but didn’t say. Nice one. Now you can spend the day torturing yourself by arguing with the person in your head all over again, only this time destroying them with epic comebacks.

7. This one is for the ladies, when the wire from your bra escapes. 

The pain, dear god the pain. This one is a bitch, because there is literally nothing you can do. It almost always seems to happen at the most inconvenient times. You’re at work, it’s 9am and BAM you feel something stabbing you. Great. Unless you want to go around with floppy boobs all day you’re stuck with this one until you get home. You can keep trying to push it back in but it will repeatedly stab you, slowly driving you insane.

8. People on paths who walk extremely slow

Does this even need an explanation? Like WHY ARE YOU WALKING SO SLOW.

9. Similariy, people who take ages in a queue.

Get your shit together and have your money ready, is that so hard?

10. When someone takes the last portion of something

Right so you’re hungover. All you want is a box of wedges a chicken fillet roll, whatever takes your fancy. You ramble up to your local deli feeling optimistic about your feed and ultimate cure. You join the queue and wait to be served. Only then, sheer horror. You get closer to the counter, there’s only a handful of wedges left.

‘Dear god, please she better not…’

‘Wedges please’

‘She did not.. she DID not!’   Oh she did. The bitch in front of you has just pulled the robbery and gotten the last wedges, YOUR wedges. Pure heartbreak.

11. When you put in your earphones and the volume is at an inhumane level

This just hurts. Why didn’t you check the volume BEFORE putting them in? Always check the volume, always.

12. Losing a document you’ve spent hours/days working on

This just invokes feelings of despair that are on a whole other level. You actually hit that 2,500 word count and then BAM. Assignment gone. Vanish. Poof. Your laptop is a piece of shit and the world definitely hates you. All you can do now is crawl under your duvet, watch countless tv series, and cry.

13. When you’re on public transport and some kid won’t stop kicking the back of your chair.

Seriously. Where are their parents? CONTROL YOUR OFFSPRING. This is not okay. If your child does not cease to whack my chair I swear…

14. You wake up in the morning, you have to pee. Your alarm goes off in 20 minutes and you can’t decide whether to get up or hold it.

Similar to number one this is a killer. Do you wait, hold it, and suffer for 20 minutes? Or do you leave the comfort 20 minutes ahead of schedule? The confliction.

15. When you get to the bus stop just as the bus pulls away.

Devastation central. He could have let you on, he knows it, you know it. Rage.

So there you go, there’s just a few examples of the most frustrating FML moments. I could go on and on, but I think it’s best for my own sanity that I stop, because believe it or not I’m actually in a good mood today 😉